Noovel kwisine............

Small Dog likes to live life on the edge of the culinary lid.

Indeed she is quite the gourmand, regularly dining on asparagus, salmon, chicken, liver and sundry other delicacies, lightly cooked to taste and sprinkled with Bakers Gravy Bites.

However, some nights, if we're cooking something which she either doesn't like, or can't have, we have a conundrum.

'Twas thus tonight.

So we opted to try her on Tesco Finest Prime Chunks with Chicken and Bacon in a Delicate Jelly (Vitamin Enriched). There's even a picture of a small dog on the front, positively beaming with health and vitality.

She's normally there or thereabouts while we're cooking, sniffing the air for clues and generally entering into the esprit de corps which envelopes the kitchen.
However she is always suspicious that she might be fobbed of with 'dog fud' so she was on high alert, closely monitoring the opening and closing of cupboards, activity at food prep boards etc

So we had to enter into a small piece of theatre.

PP distracted Small Dog while I quickly retrieved the 'fud' from the cupboard, and engaged her in spirited conversation while I peeled back the lid and scooped half the contents into her bowl, all the while pretending I was chopping, mixing and otherwise carefully preparing her hand-cooked meal.

Inevitably Small Dog smelt a rat and neatly evaded PP in order to better evaluate what I was up to. Admittedly there were clearly distinguishable chunks of chicken and bacon, and it did actually smell quite good.

In a dog fuddy sort of way.

Adding her favourite gravy bites (her only willing concession to eating dog fud) I attempted to give a Michelin-starred style presentation to her bowl, all the while waxing lyrical about how lovely it looked and smelled.

Carefully placing the dish on the floor she sniffed at it daintily and took an exploratory bite, before wolfing the lot down in approximately 30 seconds.

So much for dainty.

She even looked for more.

Which is just as well as the other half of the tray is in the fridge for her dinner tomorrow.

Storm.......what storm?

Small dog likes her sleep.

She is often to found napping throughout the day, but she reserves her really deep sleep for night time.

Just how deeply she sleeps was evidenced in the early hours of this morning when even a massive thunderstorm failed to fully rouse her from her slumbers.

The first apocalyptic crash of thunder, which heralded a monsoon-style deluge, merely served to prompt her to nestle deeper into bed. If she could have pulled her blanky up over her head I'm sure she would have done so.

Practically bomb-proof she is.

Canal No. 5............

Further to my earlier expose of Small Dog's odoriferous exploits this morning, she has taken to her bed in a huff, presumably at being denied the opportunity to stink like rotting carrion.

I've given her a few cautious sniffs but thankfully the only smell I can detect is the relatively pleasant aroma of dog shampoo.

However I can tell by the position of her ears that she is NOT pleased and is silently pledging solidarity with every other canine bath-despiser.

Of which there are many...........

Rank starlet............

Small dog is in disgrace.

She was up the garden mooching around for ages this morning then came back indoors looking very pleased with herself and absolutely reeking.
Closer inspection revealed that she'd been rolling in something hideously stinky, which she had managed to weave into her fur, along with a load of grass clippings from our newly mown lawn.

As PP has a bad back, I drew the metaphorical short straw, and holding Small Dog at arms length, marched her upstairs and deposited her in the shower, literally gagging at the stench.

It then took THREE shampoos to remove all the stinking debris and return her to a presentable state.

WHY do dogs do this?

What is it about rolling in something which stinks to high heaven that gives them pleasure?

We have scoured the garden and can't find anything which smells as bad as she did, although there was an alien poo which couldn't possibly have come from Small Dog, and may possibly have been deposited by the resident fox, which is the most likely culprit. Although what she had rolled in didn't smell anything like any animal poo I've ever encountered.

She is now curled up in her basket, having done her usual ''post bath' dash all around the house at 100 mph. At least she has had the sense to look a bit sheepish about the whole episode.

Eeeeewwwwww.........

Too hot to trot............

Small dog is indisposed.

She is not averse to a bit of lounging around in the sunshine, but the temperatures today have seen her beating a hasty retreat to her basket in the cool of the house.

If she gets really hot, she will stretch out full length on the tiles in the kitchen, near the door so that she takes full advantage of any cooling breeze.

I have suggested to her the notion of a cooling vest but she is a bit dubious about the effect it might have on her street cred. She never has been one to favour function over fashion and has chosen to suffer accordingly.

Camping doggy delight..............

Small dog is an avid fan of camping.

Not only does she get to spend all her waking hours in the great outdoors, there are also the added attactions of lots of other camping dogs, walks with excellent sniffing opportunities and nightly BBQ's to look forward to.

In other words, doggy heaven.

However our latest camping trip provided her with a constant grandstand view from her new camping chair of a never-ending parade of baby bunnies. After being told off the first time she attempted to chase them, she thereafter contented herself with being on 'Rabbit Watch', gazing at them intently as they nibbled the grass just a few feet away from her.

Self-restraint indeed from a terrier.

She's now catching up on her naps but here are some of her best bits.........

The art of packing.........

We always have the same argument with Small Dog in the run-up to any trip away, no matter how brief. For such a diminutive dog, she always seems to require a disproportionate amount of kit. This applies particularly to camping trips, despite having one whole locker in the camper van to herself for all her accoutrements.
We've tried in the past to whittle down her packing list, but she always manages to slip a few 'must have' items past us while we're otherwise occupied.

In addition to her new camping chair, which admittedly folds down flat and packs away into a discreet carry bag, she apparently requires the following items, all of which are stowed neatly in her locker.

• Warm, fleecy blanky, for chilly evenings round the campfire
• Muddy paw towel
• Jumpers x2
• Raincoat
• Treats and chews
  
• Collar, harness & lead
• Screw-in spike
• Poo bags
• Squeaky ball
• Favourite squeaky toy of the moment
• Brush
• Shampoo
• Detangle spray

According to Small Dog, these represent the absolute bare minimum of items required when camping.

However, she's been updating her packing list today and I noticed a few additional 'necessities' have crept onto it.

Most notably.



I wouldn't mind so much, but she doesn't even like getting her paws wet.

*sigh* It's going to be a long day.............